BUT WAIT THERE'S MOAR

[farchivist.livejournal.com]

Comments

[farchivist.livejournal.com]

A hoplite was taking philosophy classes between his deployments to Persia.

One of his lectures had a professor that was an atheist and a follower of Epicurus. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating "Zeus, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock me off this platform with your thunderbolt, I will give you 15 minutes.

Several minutes drip by in silence, when the 15 min. time almost expired the hoplite gets up from his seat, approaches the professor and punched him in the face knocking him off the platform and out cold. The hoplite simply went back to his seat.

The professor came to, visibly shaken and asked the hoplite, "What the hades did you do that for?!"

The hoplite said, "Zeus was busy protecting Peloponnesian military who are out protecting your right to say stupid shit like that, so he sent me to fill in."

"But Ares is the god of war," said the professor.

"Whatever," said the hoplite.

[farchivist.livejournal.com]

Toddemyos the Myrmidon was attending a symposium for a noted philosopher between his deployments to Ilium.

Just before the sacrifice, the philosopher shocked everyone by arguing that the war against Troy was being prolonged due to Agamemnon's pride and stubbornness, and would have serious long-term consequences for the Achaean peoples, destabilizing the region as a whole. "Gods of Olympus," said the philosopher, "if you do not strike me down within the next 15 minutes, then you accept that this destructive conflict of rage and jealousy has gone on too long!"

Several minutes drip by as honey from an amphora, while all in attendance sit in hushed silence. When the 15 minutes is almost expired, Toddemyos gets up from his seat, approaches the philosopher, and, flashing-eyed, punched the philosopher in the face, spilling his wine-dark blood upon the ground. The Myrmidon simply went back to his seat.

The philosopher came to, shaken in his spirit, and asked the Myrmidon, "By the houses of the dead, what was that for?"

Toddemyos said, "Dark-faced Ares was busy protecting the Myrmidon infantry who are out protecting your right to say stupid shit like that, so he sent me to fill in."

"But Ares sided with the Trojans, not the Argives!" said the philosopher. "It was his sister's quarrel with Hera and Athena that started this whole thing!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty drunk," said Toddemyos.

[farchivist.livejournal.com]

Marine Todd's penes was being stared at by a gay homosexual haire dressing interior decorator with a lisp on the bus. "What you looking at, terrorist?" said Todd. "Stand down, Todd," said Marine Todd's penes. "I'll handle this." The penes leapt from Marine Toddd's pants, walked over to the gay theater director and punched him in the jaw. "Simper File!" said the penes, who then marched back to Marine Toddd's pants and hunkered down for the night, dreaming of killing ragheads.

Simper File, Little Marine Toddd, Simper File...

[malasadas.livejournal.com]

Is Melvin writing fan fiction now?

[kadaria.livejournal.com]

Because Stalin like killed all those people.

[yes-justice.livejournal.com]

They are all better scripts than:

[beyondfake-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the laughs!

[blackdwarv.livejournal.com]

Thog sit at fire, listen to Og tell story of Sun-God and Rain-God who share cave.
"No!" shout Thog. "Sun-God and Rain-God both boy! The Baby-Spirit no come to them!" This make Thog so mad he hit Og with club.

All other in tribe love Thog after.

[weswilson]

It's sad, because this kind of crap is actually going around...