politicartoons | Jan. 5th, 2014

WASHINGTON—After awaking from a restless sleep in the Presidential Bedroom, a disoriented and lightly perspiring President Barack Obama informed reporters early Tuesday morning that he had just had that weird sex dream about the entire nation again.

“Whoa, that was intense,” said Obama, recounting his recent dream in which he once again found himself participating in a frenzied bout of sexual intercourse with all 313 million Americans. “It started out like it normally does, with me walking through the Rose Garden until I come across my junior high school teacher Miss Thornton. She starts to take off her shirt, but before you know it, we’ve been joined by every American citizen from all 50 United States and they’re all taking off their clothes.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-has-that-sex-dream-about-nation-again,34534/