65% said they also wouldn't marry if they themselves didn't have a job.
So a strong majority of women would not get married if either they themselves or their partner did not have a job.
Sure, it's romantic to get married when you're broke (hey, my parents pulled it off!) but to support a family these days it often takes two income earners. This is why ladies like everyone to be employed before getting hitched. It's practical and kids are expensive.
It's funny, when I was younger I was always more comfortable with the idea of having children than getting married, and I saw myself marrying a woman more than I could a man. But my partner of 9 years is male, we're gearing up to get hitched, and I don't plan on having kids for at least another 4 years....
Marriage and kids = not much of a leap for most people.
While I see where you're coming from, having kids is the most direct way to have a positive influence on future generations, although this positive influence is less evenly distributed than it would be if one were to run a nonprofit children's hospital, or become a public educator, etc.
Nevertheless, I can't say I'm in agreement with VHEMT as of yet. I'd like to believe humanity can still evolve beyond our petty, violent bullshit. Perhaps I'm being optimistic, but that's part of who I am:
“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” ~ Howard Zinn
***
"Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it’s unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume that there’s no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there’s a chance you may contribute to making a better world. The choice is yours." ~ Noam Chomsky
I'm totally childfree, but even I am aware that it is MORE common for a marriage to lead to children than not.
That being said, it can be hard to support yourself and a spouse/partner these days without both people being employed. And if both are underemployed (as my partner and I am), it can be tough to support yourself even with both people working.
Of course marriage alters how difficult it is for two adults to get by. If one partner is unemployed and receiving aid for food or housing, getting married would eliminate that assistance and require the financially stable partner to support them both on one income. A tax write-off doesn't necessarily offset the extra mouth to feed.
In my case, my partner is unemployed and has poor credit with old collection accounts. Until he gets his stuff cleaned up, I won't be tying my financial life that closely to his. I love him, but I'm also practical since I look at credit reports and tax returns as part of my job. He isn't on the title to our new house, either.
nobody said it was identical. Why are you pretending to be so obtuse? its really out of character for you... are you just trying to make a child-free statement? Okay okay we get it; child-free is awesome and marriage isn't just for producing kids WE GET IT
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So a strong majority of women would not get married if either they themselves or their partner did not have a job.
Sure, it's romantic to get married when you're broke (hey, my parents pulled it off!) but to support a family these days it often takes two income earners. This is why ladies like everyone to be employed before getting hitched. It's practical and kids are expensive.
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Woah there; are you jumping from marriage to babies? Cause it sounds like it!
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If I don't want babies that means nothing about if I want marriage.
The economic cost of a child and the economic cost of a marriage are unequal.
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So here I am.
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Children are wildly over-rated.
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While I see where you're coming from, having kids is the most direct way to have a positive influence on future generations, although this positive influence is less evenly distributed than it would be if one were to run a nonprofit children's hospital, or become a public educator, etc.
That's another debate for another time though.
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VHEMT asks a very simple question:
Is the current strain on the worlds resources helped by bringing another person into the world?
Also, I understand there is a connection between the two, but it's a mistake to conflate them into one thing.
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Nevertheless, I can't say I'm in agreement with VHEMT as of yet. I'd like to believe humanity can still evolve beyond our petty, violent bullshit. Perhaps I'm being optimistic, but that's part of who I am:
“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” ~ Howard Zinn
***
"Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it’s unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume that there’s no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there’s a chance you may contribute to making a better world. The choice is yours." ~ Noam Chomsky
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That being said, it can be hard to support yourself and a spouse/partner these days without both people being employed. And if both are underemployed (as my partner and I am), it can be tough to support yourself even with both people working.
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I am trying to understand but this doesn't make any sense.
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In my case, my partner is unemployed and has poor credit with old collection accounts. Until he gets his stuff cleaned up, I won't be tying my financial life that closely to his. I love him, but I'm also practical since I look at credit reports and tax returns as part of my job. He isn't on the title to our new house, either.
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For you to pretend that's asinine is just.... silly
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"Married with children"
But there is a reason that we do not consider the two identical.
To consider the two as identical is also silly.
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