politicartoons | (no subject)

"self-raping" lol

The true original sin.

Ah the irony....it burns.

From "suffer the little children" to finding new way to use the Roman slave-punishment meted out to Jesus, some folks just cover all the bases.

So it can be the "anti-masturbation cross" or the "molestation cross" - both with appropriate built in restraints!

LOL that's perfectly insane.

both with appropriate built in restraints!

I would have thought that BDSM would be more sinful
than masturbation, but I guess you never know for sure.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Arrested For Public Masturbation (http://superofficialnews.com/fappy-the-anti-masturbation-dolphin-arrested-for-public-masturbation/)

Bondage is a recurrent theme in the Bible, along with the generally sadomasochistic themes of the OT.

That doesn't sound so bad.
I wonder where Christianity went wrong...

Pfft, nothing is really sinful to do to children as long as it's the priests doing it.

"Rape" - I do not think that word means what you think it means.

It's not the fun kind but the ID Discovery channel kind - with Yahweh telling his favorite prophet to sacrifice his son and then at the last minute calling "psych!" or tormenting Job because of gambling with his Adversary.

The Old Testament is the DSM IV of religious texts.

Oh noes!

so data, smart grafing

Edited 2014-06-29 23:26 (UTC)

We're having a royal commission here into institutional child abuse (it's not just the priests, it's pretty much anyone running an orphanage up until the 90s). Some of the classic claims to come out was one guy who said the child seduced him and the other guy in charge of an institution that was essentially running a child prostitution ring that he "didn't realise it was illegal".

What if you have alien hand syndrome?

I'm reminded of dialog from the Mark Walhberg Planet of the Apes: "The last thing you want in your household is a teenage human."

I...I don't have anything to say to that. :(

I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

Well, third base at least.

It gets better:

I'm looking for an Onion tag, and not seeing one. Oy!

Dolphins?! Apparently somebody didn't know about this. NSFW like whoa (http://io9.com/this-is-a-video-of-a-dolphin-masturbating-with-a-decapi-1463711897)

...

I think the name alone should have given it away.

Why stop there? (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2388136/Little-darlings-proving-handle-Brazilian-toy-company-claims-answer---really-child-RESTRAINTS.html)

The website is a hoot. (http://www.stopmasturbationnow.org/) I just hope nobody actually makes and markets one of these.

Have you noticed how many minds are blown when you point out that god and the devil are up in heaven's throne room bull-shiting?

Thrown out of heaven, was he? Can't ever go back, can he? Then what was the devil doing in Job, chapter one?

I've noticed a lot of selective filtering when it comes to the actual contents of the Bible. Yahweh gambling with Satan, Lot offering up his daughters to a rape-mob and declaring them virgins to make them more appealing, etc. They all remember the anti-gay parts though.

And the New Testament parts where Paul is being a dick.

Paul is not being a dick, he is laying a holy smack down. Putting weemen in their place. blah, blah, blah.

I am going to stop now. It is too easy to get pissed at these people.

I am being flippant on the issue of rape, I'll admit, but I'm guessing that your comment was going to the issue of consent. If you can't control your hand...

I see what you did there. That would be terrifying, although when I think about how long it took my parents to diagnose by brother with a learning disabilty rather than just "acting like an asshole" I wonder how quickly a kid would be the diagnosis he needed for alien hand syndrome.

If you can't control your hand . . . You might be in a Clive Barker story?

There is, however, this (you scroll down quite a bit to see it):

"Disclaimer: This entire site is pretty much just a resume containing a collection of my writings and for the off chance that someone like The Onion or The Daily Show ever happens to stop by. Until then just remember, if it’s on the internet it must be true. "