I can relate to this. I went to an all boys high school and never really had a healthy friendship with a female before my mid 20s. I saw every woman as a possible conquest and, honestly, not much more. Around age 24 I realised that this was pretty fucked up, because I was meeting all these girls who seemed like awesome people, but didn't want to be with me, meaning I had no possibility of any kind of relationship with them (them not wanting a romantic relationship, me incapable of a non-physical one). Realising the problem was with me, alongside a few traumatising experiences because of this, I decided to do a one year celebacy challenge. The first time I said no to someone didn't really go too well, but that's by the by. After that I spent a year just being social. This required avoiding situations that could lead to something, like being alone with a woman, especially if we'd been drinking (that's kind of what went wrong the first time I said no).

I did it, no physical contact for a year. At the end of it I had a whole swathe of new female friends, and many women who were previously just acquaintances became close friends. It took actually having to make a conscious effort to find value in people and a conscious effort to put everyone off limits, before I learnt how to have women as friends. Now the majority of my friends are women.

It's probably worth noting that I had similar attitudes towards men not long before that, until my early 20s I didn't value anyone for anything other than what they could do for me. A personality disorder, egotistical upbringing and excelling in a few fields that were recognised (academically for instance) grew me into a very self absorbed arsehole. Thank god for ecstasy huh?


Hopefully this guy is on a similar path of awareness and enlightenment, because life is much better on this side.